This entire web construct is about me. So I would assume that if you're here, you're snooping for dirty little secrets.

I like to steal corporate artifacts. Due to my love/hate relationship with capitalism, this isn't such a shock. I have a collection of the plastic ads they put on buses, posters, customer service booklets, behind the scenes "smile at the customers!" warez, everything. One of my regrets is not filching a zit cream add that had a goth and a jock compared side by side - and she was a real goth. My next project is to steal one of the black coffin-shaped "FATALITY" signs that can be seen around Edmonton intersections without being caught.

I don't own a telephone, preferring the selective power of a pager.

I call myself Ms.Parallax because it's a far sight better than my alias "The Watermelon" that I first started with while BBSing in 1994.

I am a student at Medicine Hat College (BLARGH!) taking bio sciences because I anything else I enjoy is completely unemployable.

I have a number of fetishes. PVC, body piercing with stainless steel, smokers, boots, bondage gear, latex. Several people I know fall into all of these categories, and they never cease to drive me wild.

I have a bad habit of developing sexual attractions towards men with power. Bosses, professors, army personnel, rockstars...

I don't shave my legs.

I am an unforgiveable academic elitist.

I am always at odds with my sexual orientation - either I'm obsessing over what it really is, or I've given up trying to define myself.

I think Howard Stern is hot. So is the lead female from "Highlander: The Raven".

I am a chocaholic. Given the choice between chocolate and sex, I'll have both. Except I'm not really into fucking - animals fuck, I'm trying to elevate my human sexuality beyond that. (See what I said about this sexual identity thing?)

I work in a lab, playing with water samples from central and western Canada, and doing exciting things to little rodents.

(And I periodically prodomme on the side.)

My mom doesn't know about my tattoo.

She doesn't know I've gone to church stoned, either.

My ex-stepdad claimed to be the next King of Isreal - and planned to "take his people back". The divorce seems to have gone through alright.

I have an irrational preoccupation with Liquidation World. Less so for the Dollar Store, but they still have the best raspberry flavored black lipstick I have ever owned.

I have an irrational preoccupation for pornography.

I cannot force myself to vomit, nor can I fake burp.

I can dance to Winterkalte in heels.

The fetishy pictures in the "gallery" section were taken in my bedroom with the shower curtain hanging over my window as a background. I made the PVC bra myself - cute, hm?

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